With the recent earnings reports put out my Apple and Microsoft, I feel it an opportune moment to gloat in Steve Ballmer’s face. In case you missed it, we just announced quarterly revenue of over $10 billion dollars and profit of $1.61 billion. And it goes without saying that this far surpassed analysts expectations. Not even a Midichlorian imbalance in Emperor Steve can stop the Apple Empire.

However, this wasn’t the worst part, was it Ballmer? Now we hear that you’re cutting 5,000 employees, revenues are down across the board, and you lost almost $500 million on the web. Ouch, that hurts! And to make it even worse, this is with Emperor Steve on the sidelines.